Commitment

       


            Commitment

Pledging to yourself and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.  Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person even when things get tough. Steinberg also uses his Triangular Theory of love to answer some of the must commonly asked questions about love:

Beauty

Beauty

Where shall you seek beauty, and how
shall you find her unless she herself be your way and your guide?
And how shall you speak of her except she be the weaver of your speech?

The aggrieved and the injured say, "Beauty is kind and gentle.

Like a young mother half-shy of her own glory she walks among us."
And the passionate say, "Nay, beauty is a thing of might and dread.
Like the tempest she shakes the earth beneath us and the sky above us."

The tired and the weary say, "beauty is of soft whisperings.

She speaks in our spirit.

Her voice yields to our silences like a faint light that quivers in fear of the shadow." But the restless say, "We have heard her shouting among the mountains, And with her cries came the sound of hoofs, and the beating of wings and the roaring of lions."

At night the watchmen of the city say,
"Beauty shall rise with the dawn from the east."
And at noontide the toilers and the wayfarers say,
"We have seen her leaning over the earth from the windows of the sunset."

In winter say the snow-bound,
"She shall come with the spring leaping upon the hills."
And in the summer heat the reapers say,
"We have seen her dancing with the autumn leaves, and we saw a drift of snow in her hair." All these things have you said of beauty.
Yet in truth you spoke not of her but of needs unsatisfied,
and beauty is not a need but an ecstasy.

It is not a mouth thirsting nor an empty hand stretched forth,
but rather a heart enflamed and a soul enchanted.

It is not the image you would see nor the song you would hear,
but rather an image you see though you close your eyes
and a song you hear though you shut your ears.

It is not the sap within the furrowed bark, nor a wing attached to a claw,
but rather a garden forever in bloom and a flock of angels forever in flight.

Beauty is life when life unveils her holy face.

But you are life and you are the veil.
Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.
But you are eternity and you are the mirror.

Lessons From Birds

Lessons From Birds

"A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song." – Chinese Proverb

"Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." – Henry Van Dyke

"God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages." – Jacques Deval

"Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them?" – Rose Kennedy

"You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair." – Chinese Proverb

"In almost everything that touches our everyday life on earth, God is pleased when we're pleased. He wills that we be as free as birds to soar and sing our maker's praise without anxiety." – A. W. Tozer

"No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings." – William Blake

"God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into the nest." – Jeffrey R. Holland

"It's best to have failure happen early in life. It wakes up the Phoenix bird in you so you rise from the ashes." – Anne Baxter

"The shell must break before the bird can fly." – Lord Alfred Tennyson

"The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp." – John Berry 

"Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow and reap and store in barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth more than the birds?...How little faith you have!" (Mat. 6:26, 30).

 "But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." – Isaiah 40:31 (NIV) 

Here are several truths that make up the vision.

Here are several truths that make up the vision.

    1. We have been brought together for the purpose of helping each other

1.    Our relationship is a precious gift-it will take us through whatever we need to learn to become conscious, loving human beings.

2.    The challenges and difficulties we experience will always illuminate out most needed lessons.

Because we have made a commitment to accept this purposeful vision of our love, we experience the struggles and problems we encounter in a sacred context.

When we argue, we are angry at one another, when we get frustrated and feel like turning away, our vision shines like a beacon of light in the fog, reminding us that there is a higher purpose to the everyday difficulties we’re challenged by.

We remember that we have chosen to travel together for a reason, and by remembering, we can more quickly release the anger, move beyond the hurt, forgive, and find our eternal bond of love that is always present underneath.

It is easy to forget the true purpose of your relationship when you are busy with work, children, and family obligations.

When you forget your purpose as a couple, you lose your way.

A relationship that has lost its way will stop moving and growing, for it won’t know where it is supposed to go.

Feeding the Soul of Your Relationship

You need real moments of intimacy, of oneness, to nourish the spirit of your love so that it will continue to grow.

Sharing these moments with your partner reminds you both of your timeless connection, your purpose in finding one another, and thus gives you renewed vision and courage to get through the challenges of living together.

Real moments are the lifeblood of intimate relationships.

Without real moments, the soul of your relationship will die.

You may still choose to ignore your lack of fulfillment and stay together, but your relationship will exist as an empty shell, an arrangement of convenience you make in order not to be alone.

Having real moments of intimacy doesn’t mean just being with someone.

It’s what happens when you are together that makes it a real moment of love you can be physically together and be a million miles away because you are not in the real moment emotionally.

You can create a real moment on the phone, even though you’re calling from 1,000 miles away, simply because you are letting the boundaries go and sharing the deepest parts of your heart.